Kindergartner

Mo is 6

 

 

I can’t believe I have a 6 year old now. I was just reading over the entry from Mo’s birthday last year. It truly does go by quickly.

Our lives have undergone major transformations since last year and I’m amazed and inspired by Mo’s ability to adapt to a new environment as well as lifestyle changes.

Mo reminds me so much of myself. I see so much of me in him. Sure, he’s good looking, funny, and smart. Those are the obvious similarities:-)

But he’s very compassionate, a perfectionist, and a competitor til the end. He thrives on making others happy even if it means he has to sacrifice. And he’s a little stubborn and hot tempered too 🙂

As a parent, it makes me proud to watch my son grow into such a loving and kind young man. Sure he curses on occasion, farts, and karate chops my neck, but what else could a mom ask for?

Happy Birthday Mo!

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Little Boys

So, having 2 boys, I run into all kind of situations that are foreign to me. Obviously, because I’m not a boy.

Most recently, tennis shoes.

Here are Morris’s tennis shoes after 2 months of wear:

Here are my tennis shoes, same name brand and style, however I have had mine for 7 YEARS:

Having boys is just gonna take some time getting use to.

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Let’s Eat!

I like to eat.

My kids like to eat.

Bronson LOVES to eat!

Mo is rarely seen without clutching his wallet or money. Bronson is rarely seen without food and/or drink in his hand.

Going for a spin with Big Bro (and a pizza slice).

Running after Mo, pizza still in hand.

I only need one hand to push brother.

Nice wheels. Great pizza.

And don’t even think about trying to take it from his hands!


 

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Spare Change?

Mo is really into money.

He sleeps with his wallet. He hustles anyone that will listen. He works hard to earn an allowance. 

Lately he’s been collecting change. I was FLOORED when I saw how much the quarters, nickels, dimes, and pennies added up to.

Parents, you better start checking your sofa cushions. It all adds up!

Note the empty apple juice containers on the floor. Those are Mo’s banks.

YES! $644.47! I’m taking Mo to Vegas!!!!!!

 

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Extremes

 

 

Sometimes going to extreme measures with kids is necessary. On occasion, simple answers carry very little weight. Kids need a detailed dramatic picture to get through their hard heads.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Example:

Me: Mo, please don’t put those legos in your mouth.

Mo: Why?

Me: Because I asked you not to….(he takes it out but does it again 2 minutes later)


Me: Mo, please don’t put those legos in your mouth.

Mo: Why?

Me: I don’t want you to choke…(he takes it out but does it again 2 minutes later)


Me: Mo, please don’t put those legos in your mouth.

Mo: Why?

Me: Because they can get stuck in your throat, close off your esophagus, put a strain on your bronchial tubes, then I have to call 911, find a babysitter for your brother while we rush you to the hospital, spend hours driving in circles trying to find a parking place. Then you will have to get numerous painful shots, you will probably start bleeding, blood will gush out everywhere, ruining your new favorite Star Wars shirt, get all gross in your hair, we’d have to wash your hair (and I know how much you hate that) and you could DIE!!!!!!

He spits the legos out and hasn’t put one in his mouth since.

Sometimes you have to go to extreme measures. 




 

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Naomi vs. Angelina

Since I have 2 boys, people are always asking if they have similar personalities. Yes and no.

They are both Gemini. They have a 4 year age difference, but their birthdays are 2 weeks apart.

The easiest way to put it into perspective is this:

Mo (Morris) has the same bday as Naomi Campbell.


B (Bronson) has the same bday as Angelina Jolie.


 

 

 

Mo: Very intense and emotional. He’s meticulous and an extreme perfectionist. He is ultra competitive in everything he does and doesn’t like to be 2nd best in anything. When he’s happy, it’s almost as if he’s drunk. When he’s angry, his jugular vein bulges. He needs attention, but doesn’t neccesarily have to be the center of attention at gatherings. He has a quiet confidence and always surveys a situation or circumstance before taking action. Gets bored easily, especially when he’s not challenged. He’s very protective of people he loves and has a passion for fighting and being physical, although he is rarely the aggressor. Loves the ladies, girls, females, etc…


 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

B: Very carefree and laid back. He adapts well to change and goes along for the ride easily. He loves to laugh and play, often times just by himself. He is extremely independent and does the best when he’s just left alone to do his own thing. His favorite activity is eating. He always has food in his hand or mouth. He loves to laugh and thinks everything is funny. He will sit down quietly and read books or do puzzles. He has a pretty good attention span and doesn’t get bored with repetivie tasks. Very sweet, fun loving, and happy among loved ones, but cautious and quiet around unfamiliar faces.

 


We’ll see what happens over the next few years. Otherwise, I’m content with my little Naomi and little Angelina. 🙂

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Sharpie

One of my favorite days of the week is Friday. Not for TGIF, but because it’s the day I volunteer in Mo’s Kindergarten classroom. I have been doing reading with all the kids. They read 2 or 3 books to me and I reward them with stickers on the reading chart. It’s lots of fun.

Well, one day, the teacher decided to put me on arts and crafts. I was a little nervous, because this has never been my area of expertise. Pretty much throughout my lifetime my artwork has always looked like a Kindergartner did it. But, I gave it a shot. 

I failed. I got a big fat “F”. 

I was supposed to be making Freedom Buses with the kids. And the first order of business was to demonstrate the steps by drawing a bus on the dry erase board. It was going really well until I realized that instead of using the designated dry erase marker, I used a Sharpie. Oopsie.

I hung my head low and took the evidence of my carelessness home with the intent of purchasing a new one for the class. 

Then, after griping about it on facebook, another mom told me there is a magic solution to get it out. Apparently I’m not the first idiot to do this!!!! So, here is the remedy to remove sharpie marker from a dry erase board (not that I’m implying any of you would do this):

1. Go over the Sharpie marks with a dry erase marker. Make sure you cover completely. Let it sit for 1-2 minutes.

2. Say “mamasay mamasou maknocku sigh” 3x

3. Drop to the floor and do the worm

4. PRESTO! Wipe it off. It comes off.

5. You might need to repeat the process. This really works.

BEFORE

AFTER!

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Dear Mo and Bronson

Dear Mo and Bronson,

I know as you boys get older you will start to read mommy’s blog. So let’s just pretend we are in the future and approaching your 16th birthdays.

I’m guessing you’ll be into cars and hip hop. That’s cool. You might even watch the MTV hit, My Super Sweet Sixteen which showcases over the top birthday celebrations. That’s fine also.

But even if mommy is rich and jet setting from Cali to Capri on a regular basis (oooh…the law of attraction), let me tell you in advance how your 16th birthday WON’T be going down:

*You won’t be getting a $360,000 Maybach. You might get a Mazda (in which I’m gonna need to help for half as well as your car insurance).

*You won’t have Fabolous, Jim Jones, or Lil Kim perform at your mega exclusive A-List birthday bash. You might have your high school gospel choir or Glee Club there to sing Happy Birthday. Or maybe one of my friends that had a record deal many years ago could possibly chime in a hook or 2.

*I will not hire a uniformed driver to accompany you home. I might dress up in a cute ensemble given that my boobs and butt are still decently in tact and drive you home to make sure you get there safely (and you better give me a goodnight kiss).

*I will not be handing you a check for $10,000 as a birthday gift. I might hand you the bill from the evening and offer to pay a portion of it.

Yes, Morris and Bronson, this might be the fabulous life of Sean “P. Diddy” Combs’s son, Justin’s life, but not yours.

You will be lucky if I let you stay out past midnight (given I have a GPS tracker on you somehow). And don’t even think about brining any little girls home.

Forget about it!!!!

Well, it’s probably getting late. Don’t forget to brush your teeth. And put that toilet seat down!

Oh, and Happy 16th Birthday boys.

Love, Mommy

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I Want A Coke

Everyone’s kid “tests” them at some point or another out in public.

If it hasn’t happened yet, it will.

It could be at the grocery store when you get in the checkout line and your kid starts whining about how they want a chocolate bar that is so convienently placed at kids eye level.

Or at restaurant after you order him a pizza and he declares he wanted chicken nuggets.

Or at park when you say it’s time to go home and he decides to do a public meltdown in an attempt to get 5 more minutes of playtime.

 

What do you do? Do you give in? Do you ignore them? Do you beat their azz? lol….just kidding

I have been pretty lucky in this department. Mo and Bronson haven’t really had major incidents. BUT, on a recent airplane trip, Mo finally did it to me….

We were flying 20,000 feet in the air when the beverage cart came wheeling down the aisle. Mo’s eyes got really big when he saw the color assortment of soda cans, especially since he had just mentioned how thirsty he was.

Perky flight attendant (to me): What can I get for you today?

Me: I’ll have an apple juice please.

Perky flight attendant: And for your child.

Mo (interrupting): I’ll have a Coke.

Me (looking at Mo like he just slapped me): Excuse you….

Mo (giggling): Pretty mommy, can I PLEASE have a Coke?

Me (oh no he didn’t pull the “pretty mommy” card): Um, NO!

Slightly agitated flight attendant: Ma’am what should I get for him?

Mo (grinning): COKE

Me (clenching my teeth): you can have apple juice, orange juice, pineapple juice, or cranberry juice.

Mo: Well, my DAD lets me drink Coke all the time. You’re mean.

Me (is my kid trying to make this a good guy/bad guy thing): Do I look like your dad? Do you think I have a penis?

Mo (giggling at my use of a potty word): No mom, but it’s really not fair that dad gives me soda and you don’t.

At this point, all the passengers around us have diverted their attention from their in-flight satellite tv monitors and Mo and I have become the feature presentation…

Me: Here’s your choice Mo, either apple juice or water.

Mo: That’s not fair. Before you said I could have all those other juices.

Me: Oh well, you lost your privielege. In a minute, it’s only gonna be water, and then nothing.

Mo: You’re the meanest mom in the world.

Me (to the now annoyed flight attendant): He’ll have a water.

Mo: OK, OK….I want apple juice.

For a split second, I almost caved. I had visions of Mo throwing a tantrum and our flight. Then our plane being escorted to the ground by two federal B-57 bombers and Mo taken into military custody and sent to bootcamp for his behavior.

It definitely would have been easier to just say yes and give him the Coke. But, what kind of message would that have sent to him? In the end, it would have done more damage than good because the next time he wanted something I disapproved of we would have gone through the same process.

Stick to you guns folks. Remember WE are the parents for a reason.



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