Archive | Toddler RSS feed for this section

The Boys Love Thriller!

31 May

When Mo was 3, he became obsessed with a music video.

While most toddlers were crooning to the Doodlebops, Wiggles, and Disney Playhouse, Mo was captivated by Michael Jackson’s Thriller.

This was very strange to me.

He grew to love the Thriller video so much that he dressed as the Thriller video werewolf for Halloween. The costume scared the sheit outta all his Preschool buddies, but Mo was on Cloud 9. Michael Jackson in Thriller was his hero.

So, should I be shocked that a month before Bronson’s 3rd birthday, he too has discovered the wonders of “something evil lurking in the dark“?

I have no idea where it came from. I play a lot of Michael Jackson music, but he sits and watches the video over and over as if it were Barney.

Hmm…should I be worried?

Is this an early indication that my boys are gonna grow up to be Satanic worshipers? Crypitc kids? Children of the Corn?

Or perhaps, maybe, just maybe….it’s a sign that they have great taste in music.

Ah ha ha ha ha….Ah ha ha ha ha *evil Thriller laugh*

Old Fashion Fun

15 Mar

In a technology crazed society, I take delight in watching Bronson have simple, old fashion fun.

My handyman left a few extra boards one day, and I decided to create a ramp for B’s plethora of cars.

Who needs Disneyland when you’ve got wood?????

For added delight, I filled a tupperware bowl with dish soap, food coloring, and water and placed it at the end of the ramp for the cars (and Bronson) to hang out. It’s a great addition for a beautiful 80 degree LA day.

Next time your kids are  bored at home, check the kitchen, garage, and cabinets. You will be amazed by the sheer pleasure our kids can get out of the simplest things. Plus it will keep them busy for a while so we can facebook! :)

 

I Hate Stuffed Animals

14 Mar

I really hate stuffed animals.

It is useless junk that simply takes up space and harbors allergens and germs.

If your child ever received a stuffed animal as a gift from me, I am 100% sure it was a re-gifter. I get rid of teddy bears, Mickey’s, and doggies faster than a box of Samoas.

Sooooo….somehow Bronson has secretly accumulated a family of stuffed animals. SMH. The ring leader is an oversized stinky teddy bear that he insists on dragging inside the house and back outside. UGH!!!! Well, the other night he left it outside in the path of our mighty sprinklers and when I woke up noticed Mr. oversized stinky teddy bear was drowning in dirty CA water, mud, and who knows what other filth.

I found a nice new home for him. I feel a little guilty, but really, I’m just thinking about the health of the boys. Sometimes, a mom’s gotta do what a mama’s gotta do. Hopefully the stuffed animal mafia doesn’t get wind of my whacking Mr. oversized stinky teddy bear. Shhhhh…

A Mother’s Love

14 Feb

So….. it’s Valentines Day. And as I was playing with Mo and B I felt some nostalgia and was inspired to write a rap poem. I’m no Emily Dickenson. It’s more along the lines of the haiku I wrote about a tree in 10th grade. But sometimes love has a way of finding the words…

 

A Mother’s Love

A mother’s love is unspoken.

It’s when I silently watch you sleep

Or when you smile, how my heart skips a beat.

A mother’s love is natural.
You didn’t come with a manual, but somehow I figured it out.
You may question my choices, but my love you never doubt.

A mother’s love is comforting.
When you fall, my kiss is mightier than a drug.
When you lose the big race, nothing compares to my hug.

A mother’s love is unselfish.
I advocate for you when you might not understand.
I sacrifice knowing it will make you a better man.

A mother’s love is eternal.


Teacher Slaps Student

3 Feb

What is going on at Los Angeles schools?!

Students shooting students, janitors shooting principals, and police officers shooting themselves….Wow. None of this was going on when I was in high school.

The latest development is a teacher slapping a female student.

Now, many people are up in arms about this. NOT ME.

I can think of 10 female students I wanted to slap back in my day (5 of them are probably reading this…lol)

Kids are so different now. When I was in school, I really looked up to and respected my teachers. I even remember being the trusty babysitter for a few. I was a brown noser model student and wanted nothing short of my teachers’ praise.

I still have immense respect and admiration for teachers and administrators in the education system. It cannot be easy to deal with the youth of today and definitely takes a lot of patience, passion, and love.

Ildiko Lewis, a foreign language teacher at Calabasas High School, was arrested on a misdemeanor battery charge Jan. 10 after reportedly slapping a female student during class. Detective J.T. Manwell of the Lost Hills Sheriff’s Station said the decision to file the charge was prompted by the teacher’s initial lack of remorse at the time of the incident. But he said she later seemed apologetic.

Now that’s GANGSTA!!! Ms. Lewis stood by her pimp smack.

I don’t know any details about the situation or anything about the student. Disgruntled parents have asked how I would feel if that was Mo or B who got smacked. If either of my kids were being disrespectul, unruly, cheating, etc…..she shouldn’t have smacked them, she should have taken them outside and paddled their little bad azz!

For the record, teacher Ray Lewis is 69 years old and perhaps had some flashbacks to the old school methods.

I might need to get her # for some babysitting. Let her set Mo and B straight a few times!!!

I say give Ms. Lewis an early retirement package and send her to Maui for some pretty drinks with umbrellas. I’m sure she’s seen a lot and put up with a lot of foolishness.

Toddler Talk

29 Nov

I love how kids have their own way of saying words while their vocabulary is starting to develop. Bronson has a language that only a few of us understand.

strawberry= straw shoo shoo

water= wah wer

train= john john

peach= piatch

I want to watch Yo Gabba Gabba= a yo $%#&^**$%

However, my all time favorite is the word he says for “PAJAMA“. And I know you guys wouldn’t believe me, so I have posted video evidence. *hint* It sounds a lot like the fake name I give at coffee shops :)



Coffee Shop Fun

10 Nov

As a stay at home mom, I am constantly trying to find ways to amuse myself. Being around a 2 year old and 6 year old daily can make you crave adult interaction.

Sure, being on facebook helps, texting friends, and of course writing. But when I’m out and about with the boys, sometimes I just need mild amusement to get me thru my day.

So…while we’re at a coffee shop I get an idea…

A few years ago, I remember going to Starbucks with my dad. We’re waiting by the counter for our drinks and all of a sudden I hear the barista call out “Snerdly“….we wait a while and a few people snicker. Again, she says “Snerdley“. No one claims the drink. A few more chuckles and a couple of glares. I can’t help but to LOL, because, come on, how many “SNERDLEYs” do you know?!!!!? After a 3rd call for the now infamous customer, I look at my dad and we share a quick laugh.

Then…as all the customers watch, Snerdley proudly steps forward to retrieve the passion fruit iced tea.

SNERDLEY is my dad!!!!!!!!

Awesome.

But wait, my dad’s name is Gus, not Snerdley. I mean Gus isn’t what you’d call Tom, Joe, or John kind of name. My dad goes on to explain how annoying it is that they ask for your name, so in true frat boy fashion, he always gives a fake name for the barista to announce.

So, as I’m in the coffee shop with Bronson I feel nostaligic in this family tradition. As the unassuming barista announces my hot chocolate is ready, I sit back a few moments and let her call for me again. I silently giggle as everyone around is appalled at the name she is saying. Upon calling my “name” the 2nd time, the employee realizes the irony of my name and says it a little softer. The caffeine drinkers grow increasingly embarrassed as she announces it again.

After I decide I’ve had enough fun for the moment, I proudly glide through the curious crowd to retrieve my beverage.

Daylight Savings Time

8 Nov

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are holidays for parents.

Daylight Saving’s Time (fall back) is a holiday for people without kids.

In the good ole single days “falling back” was a welcome change. An extra hour to party and sleep in.

If you have children, it is prolly a nightmare. How do you explain the whole process that they should sleep an extra hour to a 2 or 6 year old? You don’t. You just get up at 6 AM (which was the old 7 AM) and moan and hiss about how they really should have stayed in bed.

Who knew an hour made such a difference when you have kids?

So, in an attempt to kill more time of what seems like the longest day of my life, we walked to our neighborhood Starbucks.

I couldn’t believe what I saw when I went in.

There were toys, kids, and nursery song singing EVERYWHERE. I didn’t know if I was annoyed or happy. Starbucks had transformed into Gymboree. On a chilly Sunday LA morning, guess I wasn’t the only mommy with slim options.

Bronson had a blast. It was like an unplanned playdate.

I was just glad to be getting some temporary relief of him being irritable at home. I didn’t even mind the glares and sighs from all the kidless people trying to get a caffeine boost.

Endorsement Deal

4 Nov

Bronson loves sitting in weird places.

He takes his trucks and food to these little private places and enjoys quiet time by himself.

I see a major mancave in his future.

Here he is in his most recent spot of Zen:

I think Apple Jacks and/or Puffy/Diddy/Sean Combs needs to call me (Momager) to arrange an endorsement deal for Bronson.

Halloween 2010

1 Nov

Halloween was a great success this year.

However, I had a hard time finding a costume for B to actually wear. I tried an Elmo hand-me-down that Mo wore when he was 2. Although B likes the Elmo character, he would have NO PARTS of donning the fuzzy red suit. He really likes cars and trucks, so surely, a Lightning McQueen costume would work. Negative. Wearing a getup with a protruding Camaro or W.E Lightning McQueen is wasn’t gonna happen.

Luckily, Grandma saved the day. My mom picked up something from a yard sale that she thought he would like, and he did! It was sort of like a psuedo costume because it somewhat resembled clothing and looked less like a commercial licensed character with all the bells and whistles. It did take a little bribing coaxing because he kept referring to it as a jacket initially. (No jack-et mommy. No jack-et).

I got in on the Halloween action too. Mo said my costume was “kind of dumb”, (I’m sure there are millions of toddlers who will disagree) but I enjoyed it mainly because I got to wear tennis shoes!!!

Ok, so first things first, YES, it is a wig. Come on…do you really think I would chop these locks for a Dorothy Hamil hairdo? Umm….NO. And yes, I’m aware that Dora the Explorer wears orange SHORTS, but since I would be around kids and other parents, I made an executive decision to modify the Dora ensemble to something a little more appropriate (besides drop into the 50s at night in LA and I was not about to be freezing in orange booty shorts. Sorry Mattel. No disrespect for Dora).

And apparently my 6 year old is getting too cool for Mom AND Dora. When I tried to take his picture, he kept walking off like he didn’t even know me. I felt like Star Magazine paparazzi stalking him. WT!!!!! So finally after threatening to cancel Halloween and spend the night at home watching Dora the Explorer reruns, he was forced agreed to a couple photos “ONLY IF THEY’RE ON THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE WHERE MY FRIENDS CAN’T SEE US”. Ok, when did I get so UNcool? I will have my child know that 2 of his friends have propsed to me (and one was the fastest runner in 1st grade). I am cool, darnit!!!!

Hope you had a great Halloween filled with TRICKS and TREATS!

← Older Entries

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.