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I'm Effin Perfect

by on May 15, 2009 in Baby/Infant

I was talking to a friend the other day and she was a little frazzled with all the pressures of being a mom. She has 2 kids and said:

Her: Nora, how do you do it?

Me: Do what?

Her: Raise 2 kids, but seem so put together. You never make any mistakes, your kids are good boys, you always seem to be so organized and calm.

Me: Really? That’s what you think.

Her: You just seem so PERFECT. Like you never screw up. Sometimes, I’m so tired I just can’t find time to clean the house, help the kids with homeowork, be a wife AND mother.

 

So, obviously her sleep deprivation has clouded her judgement and rendered her delusional. I am by no means perfect, nor do I strive for perfection. I just take it day by day and try to do the best for my kids. 

So, if this is your idea of perfection, then I’m proud to say: I’M EFFIN PERFECT!

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Night Club or Chuck E. Cheese

by on May 8, 2009 in Baby/Infant, Kindergartner, Motherhood Journey

I was so happy that Morris and Bronson were in the bed by 7:30. Since my sister was over, I figured it’s a Wednesday and I should go out and do something wild and crazy that I don’t normally do. 

I head to Target.

As I pull up to Target around 8:45 PM, it looks a little different from my 8:45 AM shopping experience. The parking lot is PACKED and sounds more like a night club.

I finally find a parking space after driving around for 9 minutes and maneuver past all the teens dancing outside their cars ( I just wish they weren’t all blasting Lady GaGa). I walk hesitantly towards the store and discover there are no shopping carts left. 

I head back towards Studio 54 and find a few buggies next to the lady selling bacon wrapped hot dogs. Man, do they smell good. She quickly marks her territory though and loads a cardboard box of hot dog buns in one and a case of Orangina in the other. 

I survey the “dance floor“. Spotted, a stray shopping cart by the mobile Daniel’s Taco trailer. There is a pretty long line so I’m thinking of Plan B. Just then, a mom with 2 kids in tow asks  if I need a buggy. Maybe she recognizes me as an AM regular and feels my displaced pain of bewilderment. 

As we engage in the buggy trade off. She warns, “It’s crazy in there.” I’m stunned. I keep telling myself it’s only Target! If I can handle getting dropped kicked in the ribs by Morris while chasing Bronson to shield him from electrocution, I can surely handle a late night shopping run.

I enter the store and can’t believe it.

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Simply Fabulous! Kimora Lee Simmons’s Baby Shower

by on May 7, 2009 in Baby Shower, Baby/Infant, Celebs/Style, Holiday, Hot Mama ALERT, Motherhood Journey, Race/Color

There is no denying how fabulous Kimora Lee Simmons is. She is the only multiethnic female to have a successful fashion empire.

She oversees her Baby Phat clothing line as well as President and Creative Director of Phat Fashions.

She has 4 fragrances: Goddess, Golden Goddess, Seductive Goddess and, Baby Phat Fabulosity. 

On top of all this, she has her own jewelry line, has written a book, Fabulosity: What It Is and How to Get It, and has her own Barbie. 

But what I love most about Kimora is how she balances her professional life with being a mom to 2 daughters, and a third child on the way.

We all love a good baby shower. So, no one should be surprised by the fabulouseness of Kimora’s baby shower.

The  last minute and low-key event had servings of Sliced prime rib; lobster; crab; shrimp; caviar; poached salmon; macaroni and cheese; a fondue fountain with white chocolate, fruit and marshmallows; red velvet cake; Jamaican rum cake and strawberry shortcake to serve about 50 guests. 

Among the  50 guests were Stevie Wonder and his wife, Kai, Holly Robinson Peete, and Kimora’s daughters with ex-hubby Russell Simmons, Ming Lee, 9, and Aoki Lee, 6. 

Kimora looks amazing and is due in June. 

 

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The Hair Gods Are Good To the Boys

by on April 21, 2009 in Baby/Infant, Hair, Motherhood Journey, Preschooler, Race/Color

When I was little, I remember waking up with a major crick in my neck from trying to sleep with a head full of pink sponge rollers.  Remember those? Those pink sponges were so absorbent you could wash a minivan with just 2. And, boy did they hurt when you tried to take them out.  My hair always got stuck in the crevices, or maybe it was the Aqua Net I used to help “hold” the curls.

I grew up in the 80s when hair was all about BIG and CURLY. And if being IBTC President wasn’t enough for my self esteem, I had BONE STRAIGHT HAIR! Let’s not even talk about the braces and glasses. Good times.


So, I guess they’re right when they say everything skips a generation. Thank goodness the Hair Gods were on my kids’ side. But does it really count since they’re boys?  They could really care less.

I asked Morris if he wanted to get his hair cut off (he’s had 6 regular “trims” already) and all he cared about was whether or not he would get a lollipop. I told him he would be starting Kindergarten soon, and may want to get a shorter cut.

 

 

 

Morris: Sometimes kids call me a girl because I have long hair.

Me: How does that make you feel?

Morris: I don’t care. Yesterday at the park, this boy and his mom called me a girl. I told them I was a boy, and they laughed.

Me: That’s good you used your words.

Morris: Then I said if you call me a girl again I’ll punch you in the face.

Me: Hmm…What did his mom say?

Morris: She said, yeah, you’re definitely a boy.

So, Morris got the hair that every girl wants: long, thick, and curly with natural highlights of caramel and honey. Some boys have all the luck.

Bronson got the hair that all rock stars dream of, a natural mohawk. I guess Morris had the foresight of knowing this because he picked out his brother’s middle name, “Rocco the Rock Star.” Funny how things happen. I’m sure when Bronson is 45 years old and CEO or an ultra conservative insurance company he will appreciate his mohawk.

Luckily, I can rest easier at night knowing my boys won’t have hair issues. I’m also happy because the pink sponge rollers are a thing of the past. Straight is back in! Brazilian blowouts for all the girls.

 

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Say Cheese: Take 227…

by on April 15, 2009 in Baby/Infant, Kindergartner, Motherhood Journey, Preschooler

I never realized what a task it is for a mom to take a decent picture with her 2 kids.  Now I know why there are no pictures of me with the boys.  It just takes too much work.  Wow, you would have thought we were shooting for Cosmo with all the shots we were taking.  Here’s a peek…and these are the “good” ones!

 

If only I could get Bronson to look…

“Why does Morris look fuzzy?”

“Morris looks like he’s disappearing Mommy.”

“Wait a minute, now what’s happening to ME?”

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And baby makes 10

by on April 3, 2009 in Baby/Infant, Food, Motherhood Journey, Preschooler

I never realized how easy it was getting out of the house with a 3 year old until I had another baby.  Why did it seem so hard when I just had one? On my way to pick Morris up from school, I decided it would be a nice idea to eat lunch (for a change) so I phoned in a sushi order.  

Now, don’t assume since I live in LA, I’m some kind of sushi freak.  Actually, I just had sushi for the first time a month ago, and have sort of been all over it since.  I’m one of those that when I find something good, I just WEAR IT OUT until I’m sick of it. (BTW, here is a great sushi website for fellow sushi novices) Usually, when I pick Morris up from school, I’m not this adventurous.  There are no stops on the way there and I come directly home after I pick him up. Why complicate things and increase the chance of a meltdown (from any of us)? So, as I’m gearing up for the “big adventure” before pick up, I am appalled at all the necessary gear for a 4 minute stop to pick up my take out order:

1.  Goldfish-Bronson is a happy baby…as long as he has food in his mouth

2.  Cooked carrots- in case we run out of Goldfish.

3.  Pretzel sticks- he likes holding something in his hand (and mouth).

4.  Cup/water- gotta have something to wash down the crudite.

5.  Hat- just in case the warm LA sun gets in his eyes during the 4.6 second walk from the car to sushi place door.

6.  Lyscal carrier- what if he gets cranky in the infant seat and wants to get out? He’s getting too heavy to just hold.

7.  Morris’s cup- Gotta keep the playing field equal.  Bronson can’t have a drink, and Morris not have one.

8.  Mom’s water- I can save a buck from the sushi place by bringing my own water (and save even more money by filling up the        old Fuji water bottle with filtered water from the fridge–I love that one).

9.  Baby toy- Just in case Morris isn’t ready at pick-up, this will help keep Bronson occupied.

10. Nail clipper- It’s so hard to cut Bronson’s fingernails.  The easiest way is when he is in the baby carrier holding a pretzel.

Whew.  All this, not to mention MY cell phone, car key, house key, lip gloss, and sunglasses.  I can’t believe I never carry a purse.  I must really look like a schmuck with all this crap stuffed into my pockets. I can only imagine if we were making a stop that actually involved activity.

And of course, the whole time Bronson is just sitting in his infant seat while I dart to and fro around the house (like a little squirrel gathering nuts). Just as I pick up the keys to lock up the house, he starts cooing and laughing and looks directly in my eyes.  I think he’s saying,

“Mom I will be absolutely fine without all that crap, but if it makes you feel better just bring it.”

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You Wear It Well, Baby

by on March 24, 2009 in Baby/Infant, Celebs/Style, Hot Mama ALERT, Motherhood Journey

One of my favorite literary publications (US Magazine) has a section called “Who Wore It Best?“  It shows a couple of celebs wearing the same outfit at various functions and the viewers are asked who they thought wore the outfit the best.  Sometimes there are funny “battles” like Heidi Klum vs. very pregnant Salma Hayak.  Who would ever want to be put in a frame next to Heidi, much less pregnant.  That’s just wrong.  But there are some really good ones (like Jenny McCarthey vs. Blake Lively), and some shockers too.  Of course I always root for the mommies.

The other day I put one of Morris’s old onesies on Bronson and I instantly thought of the US Magazine section.  How could a mom judge between her 2 kids?  Of course, I can’t.  I decided I was the winner because having 2 boys enabled me to save my favorite outfits from Morris and pass them down to Bronson.  That’s right, after having to wear all of Mona’s tattered soccer shorts, flowered dresses, and even a shirt with HER name embroidered on it (in soccer balls and basketballs), I vowed never to make my kids wear handmedowns.  Well, that was before I became a parent.  So here is the mom version of US magazine’s “Who Wore It Best.”  Let’s call it, “Yeah, I Wear Hand-Me-Downs.“

 

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Who's Your Daddy

by on March 18, 2009 in #1 Female Singer of All Time, Baby/Infant, Holiday

It should come as no surprise that one of my favorite kiddie lines is Haute Stuff. Their line is so hip and funny. The slogans on their clothes say exactly what most people are thinking. I wish they made everything in adult sizes. Most of their onesies, tees, tanks, and hats are baby sizes, but they also have 2T, 4T, and 6T. Their line is all about attitude and expression. They feature cute slogans with baby personal ads, gas station patches, tatto style, throwback shows (Dukes of Hazard, The Dating Game),and hello my name is: (georgeous, trouble, heartbreaker, fabulous). Their basic food group line is really cute too. They pair 2 food items and put one on the front and one on the back right on the tushie.  Think bacon and eggs, hamburger and fries, and every newborn’s favorite- pancake with coffee. I can’t get enough of this line. 

 

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Stinky Pants

by on March 16, 2009 in #1 Female Singer of All Time, Baby/Infant, Celebs/Style, Holiday

Your best friend just called, and she’s pregnant…for the first time…with twins…2 girls. The problem? You have 3 boys and they’re all teenagers. What in the world are you going to get her? The last time you bought baby items, gas was less than a buck per gallon. Don’t get your panties in a wad, get to Stinky Pants. Fellow Hot Mama, Michelle Alegria Naccarato and her husband (he’s hot too) Mario Naccarato created a hip children’s store with all the latest trendy and hip clothing and acessories as well as hard to find European lines. Their ultra chic Lincoln Park boutique offers clothing, toys, accessories, and footwear from infant to teen sizes. 

Your G4 grounded and you’re not gonna be in Chi-town anytime soon? Never fear, their website offers you all the hot items they carry in their Chicago store. They have a great “what’s hot” feature which will take you directly to “baby girls”.  Instantly you can choose from Catamini, Deaux par Deaux, and Misha Lulu. But wait, you have to check out Heelarious-baby’s first high heels. Are they serious?  These are too cute (and that’s from a mom that doesn’t put shoes on her baby). The boy stuff is just as amazing. Charlie Rocket, Imps and Elfs, and Rowdy Sprout have the cutest duds. But the McLovin’, McSteamy, Props to Pops, and My Mommy is Muy Caliente tees and onsies are must haves. Don’t put your Visa away just yet. The fun doesn’t stop at clothes and shoes. Hooter Hiders, hair clips, baby toiletries, leg warmers, bibs, ties, and trumpette socks will make your gift complete.  Oh yeah, and throw in a couple Melissa and Doug toys and musical instruments.

Stinky Pants has amazing customer service and can help do custom orders over the phone. Their staff is so friendly, just tell them the occasion and they will put together an amazing ensemble to impress the pickiest tot. Their clothes and hip store have major attitude, but their service does not, and that’s my kind of shopping. They often offer free shipping and other smokin sales on their website. With a name like Stinky Pants, you can’t go wrong.

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Ickett or isn’t it?

by on March 6, 2009 in Baby/Infant, Celebs/Style, Motherhood Journey

Rapper M.I.A (real name: Mathangi Maya Arulpragasam) gave birth on February 11, 2009 to a baby boy.  In case you don’t know who M.I.A is, she’s the rapper who performed with Jay-Z, T.I., Kanye West, and Lil Wayne  at the 2009 Grammys.  Oh yeah it also happened to be her due date.  Talk about a working mom.  Wouldn’t it have been funny if she went into labor on stage and Lil Wayne delivered the baby?  Wonder what that would have done for Grammy ratings.  Well, what’s more interesting than performing in front of millions of people PREGNANT at the Grammy Awards?  Apparently, it’s the baby’s name.  A few sites reported that she named her son “Ickett”.  However, Mama M.I.A has denied this on her myspace page. So, in case she needs inspiration for a “unique” name, here are a few of my favorite celeb baby names:

Mars Merkaba:  Erykah Badhu and Jay Electronica (original reports said her name was Twitty Milk), Erykah also has a son by Andre Benjamin named Seven Sirius

Fuchsia: Sting and Frances Tomelty 

Moon Unit: Frank Zappa, also father to Dweezil and Diva Muffin

Kyd: David Duchovny and Tea Leoni -I like this one because I call my boys kid, anyway

Poppy Honey: Jamie and Jules Oliver (also parents to Daisy Boo) I actually like “Honey” and said if I ever had a girl, Honey it would bee :-)

Sage Moonblood: Sylvester Stallone and Sasha Czack (also parents to Seargeoh)

Pilot Inspektor: Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf

Moxie CrimeFighter: Penn Jillette (also father to Zolten)

Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily: Paula Yates and Michael Hutchence

Saffron Sahara: Simon and Yasmin Le Bon (also parents to Amber Rose and Tallulah Pine)

Jermajesty: Jermaine Jackson and Alejandra Genevieve Oaziaza (previously married to Jermaine’s brother Randy) That is just strange on so many levels.

Audio Science: Shannyn Sossamon

Here is my favorite, only because Morris would probably appreciate it (for obvious reasons):  Kal-El Coppola: Nicholas Cage (Kal-El is Superman’s original birth name)

And to think people thought I was strange because I wanted Bronson’s middle name to be “Aron”, which is Nora spelled backwards.  Anway, Morris insisted we name him Rocco, so Bronson was spared.  What’s the most unique name you’ve heard? (as if you could top any listed above)

 

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