Don’t Tell Me Happy Father’s Day
Mother’s Day is big business in the United States. The National Retail Federation estimates that in 2015, over $21.2 billion was spent on Mother’s Day gifts. A projected 84.2% of Americans celebrated mommy with cards, brunch, flowers, jewelry, etc. It’s all well deserved, moms work hard. Mother’s Day is a joyous occasion many women look forward to celebrating and feeling appreciated. Tupac and Boyz II Men have even written hit songs to pay tribute to hardworking matriarchs.
One would think dads would receive the same fanfare and accolades for their counterpart day of celebration. However, over the years Father’s Day has steadily built up steam as the second coming of Mother’s Day for single moms. It is estimated that 12 million families in the U.S are headed by a single parent, 83% are single moms. Instead of honoring men on Father’s Day, it has become a day some single moms want recognition as well. I’m divorced and raising my two sons, but please don’t tell me Happy Father’s Day.
Yes I watch SportsCenter, pee in the shower, and hate changing the empty toilet paper roll but I am not a man.
Yes I’ve taught my sons how to throw a ball, kick a ball, catch a ball.
Yes I’ve taught my sons to pee standing/sitting/by a tree/behind a building.
Yes I’ve coached my son’s soccer team. Three times.
Yes I’ve taken my sons to watch professional, collegiate, and high school soccer, baseball, basketball, and football games.
Yes I’ve given my sons advice on girls and dating.
Yes I take my sons to the barbershop for haircuts.
Yes I build Lego sets and assemble toys.
But, I AM NOT A MAN and I can never be a FATHER.
There are certain things only a man can give a child just as there are unique attributes only a woman can provide. I can physically do activities with my kids that are stereotypically done by a man, but there is an innate bond a man has with a child I can never replicate.
Telling me Happy Father’s Day undermines to all the loving, dedicated, compassionate, and hard working men. I cannot give the intangibles these men do. No matter how amazing a mother you are, you cannot totally compensate to a child for a missing father. You can pick up the ball where he fumbled but YOU WILL NEVER BE A DAD.
Of course, many great men have been raised in homes without a father. While I’m quite confident in my kickass parenting abilities, I realize there will always be moments for my 13 and 9 year old sons that they will yearn for the respect, love, attention, and approval of a man. A woman can teach a child many things, but a son comes into manhood easier with a male figure; A daughter gains an extreme sense of self love and respect from the affirmation of her father.
If dad isn’t in the picture, seek a male role model: a teacher, family member, coach, or mentor.
Praising men on Father’s Day shouldn’t warrant moms going into defensive mode. No one is denying our strength, resilience, or that we’re doing the damn thing on a daily basis. A good mom goes without on many occasions, just to sacrifice out of the love for her child. However, if you’re a bitter/scorned woman or your child has a deadbeat dad, Father’s Day isn’t the time for a social media rant.
Father’s Day is a positive day. It’s a day to show appreciation to prodigious men (dads and father figures) who love and contribute to the the growth of children.
If your child’s father isn’t in the picture and you consider yourself pulling double duty, GREAT, you are a wonderful parent. Celebrate twice as hard on Mother’s Day, but you will never completely fill the shoes of a father. Father’s Day is for men who make an impact in a child’s life.
Happy Father’s Day gentlemen, you are appreciated.

Jun 07, 2013 @ 05:18:26
My 2 brothers and I were raised by a hardworking single mom. Our dad walked out when I was one year old. We always credited mom with both roles but you are right a huge part always just wanted a father. She did the best she could but something was and still is missing.
Jun 07, 2013 @ 05:43:18
The angry scorned single moms will be all over you for this one. I agree wholeheartedly and hate all the Facebook posts taking away from the day.
Jun 07, 2013 @ 07:26:19
I never understood the women who get so up in arms to receive recognition on Father’s Day. It has gotten out of hand. Thank you for taking a stand and continue to be a great mom to your kids.
Jun 10, 2013 @ 06:23:19
I am a single mom. I gladly accept all Fathers day cards and wishes. I work too hard being both parents
Jun 14, 2013 @ 06:59:44
I admire you’re hard work, but like the article says…you’re not a father.
Jun 13, 2013 @ 09:03:39
I don’t look for recognition on Mother’s Day. All I ask for is a hug on Father’s Day. I think we need to stop being selfish and truly accept the roles we are given and not look for anything in return.
Jun 13, 2014 @ 07:57:53
Brave post. Never heard a woman speak out about this but I agree. Thank you. Your children have an outstanding mom
Dec 19, 2015 @ 03:10:12
December 24, 2011 at 2:29 pm Awesome job! I respect a man that looks after his Mom! I am sure she loves her new home; meeoovrr, I am sure she is proud of her son, who not only built her a nice little home, but, turned it in to a business opportunity! I want to order the plans and I will some day soon! I would like to have your design built, because I am a disabled American Vet and it would be easy for me to get around in. Also, being fairly young, I feel it would last a long time. Once I save the money to get the plans and some friends, to help construct the home, I will send you pictures! Finally, I say with all honesty, I have looked at many designs and yours is the best, by far!Merry Christmas,John Curtis Ocala, FL Reply
Jun 12, 2017 @ 09:48:10
Wifey right here
Jun 18, 2017 @ 06:09:22
💯