Five Reasons I Hate Elf On The Shelf

elf on the shelf creativeEvery holiday comes with a tradition that we merely tolerate because of the festive connection.

How many of us REALLLLY like eating turkey? Be honest, out of 365 days of the year we only pretend to like turkey and cranberry sauce for about 4 hours.  I We secretly wish it were a Chick Fil-A #1 with Polynesian sauce.

And who REALLLLY likes wearing the color green?! Come on, it totally washes out my tan and if my dad’s mom’s uncles’s 3rd cousin wasn’t Irish, I wouldn’t even break out my one emerald colored shirt for St. Patty’s Day

Well, the Christmas equivalent of faking the funk for the sake of tradition is the Elf on the Shelf.  First of all, when did this even become a Christmas thing?! I don’t remember my parents hiding an elf or ever hearing about this til I saw pics on Facebook. Thanks Zuckerberg.

Nonetheless, I got suckered into the Lil Chucky cult phenomenon.  Here’s Five Reasons I Hate Elf On The Shelf

1. Just a gentle reminder I’m not creative: Oh you Pinterest moms ruin everything! The ever so crafty supermoms have taken Elf on a Shelf to another level. Just when I thought I did something grand by plopping Lil Chucky on the coffee table before B woke up I see ingenious stuff like this:


2. Bad memory & I like sleeping: I fall asleep early and enjoy the confines of my down comforter in the early morning. Plus I can never seem to remember to wash my hair much less hiding a creepy stuffed doll. When I was married I could hide Prada bags and pumps with ease but parenting has taken it’s toll on my sneakiness. Is there an app to remind you to hide the lil nuisance?

3. My sense of humor is inappropriate: My idea of funny is probably not conducive to an 8 year old’s funny bone. However, I’m pretty sure Mo would get a kick out of these Elf ideas:


christmas tradition

funny elf on the shelf

4.  Elf on the Shelf owes B money: Is it me or does Lil Chucky have a striking resemblance to my Bronson?! Where are our royalties and residuals????

Elf on the shelf



5. I’m old school: Give me Frosty the Snowman, a Nativity scene, and Rudolph any day over Lil Chucky.

Ho Ho Ho Happy Holidays. And Bahumbug to Elf on the Shelf.

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