Fifty Shades Of Grey Review

I think I have become THAT mom.

Ya know, the one who uses her spit to clean the corner of her kid’s mouth…

The one who does an exercise DVD in her living room…

The one who wears the same sweatpants for 3 days, and just changes the shirt…

and just recently added: The one who reads mommy porn

YUP, there is a book that has been invading playdates, soccer games, and kiddie birthday parties.

It seems that all the moms are reading “Fifty Shades of Grey” written by British author E.L. James.

The erotic trilogy is currently on the New York Times Best Seller list. The movie rights have been sold to Universal Pictures and Focus Films.

After hearing so many moms and twitter friends rave about how great this book is, I decided to read it.

A few friends have a Twitter book club. Once we finished “The Hunger Games” trilogy, this was our next read.

I read it in 2 days, not because it was great, mostly bc I love to read and I was bored.

Fifty Shades of Grey underwhelmed me.

It reminded me of a bootleg knockoff of Pretty Woman, just not as good.

The writing is terrible. It made me think of something I would have turned in for high school Creative Writing class (minus all the sex stuff of course).

The words “inner goddess” and “biting her lip” were used more than I use LOL. LOL

The book has the makings of something I would enjoy…the main character is a smart mouth college student from Georgia. She falls in love with a handsome billionaire who loves spoiling her with lavish gifts and sex.

I should love it, right? WRONG…

I’m an avid reader but there’s something that feels weird reading about intimate sex of other people.  It made me feel like a Peeping Tom of sorts.

The dude, Christian Grey is a weirdo. He has good looks and wealth, but that only goes so far. He has more issues than a People Magazine subscription. On top of that, he’s super controlling and  has a creepy sex fetish.

Yeah, he did absolutely nothing for me.

I’ll pass!

But women across America are oohing and ahhing over this Douche 50 Shades of Grey.

Then it hits me, if I were still miserable married, this book might be the ultimate fantasy, as it prolly is for many women/moms/housewives.

I’m not knocking anyone who loves this aspect of it, hey…I’ve been there.

But fortunately for me, my life is pretty cool right now. I appreciate the highs and lows of it, but I mostly revel in the fact that I have the power to change it if I please.

I’m glad to be at a stage where I don’t have to fantasize about life or what makes me happy in life.

And by no means does some controlling creep turn me on.

Many moms say they fantasize about the AMAZING sex Ana has with Christian.

That pretty much stinks. There’s no reason you can’t have a great sex life.  Get some initiative and get it on.

Yes, Christian Grey spoils the apple of his eye but when it comes with conditions or strings attached, it’s really not that great. In fact, it sucks to feel dependent and subservient.

The best I can say for this book is that I hope it inspires women who dream of headboard banging sex, a bright future, and a gentleman to cater and love her that she empowers herself to better her life.

Fifty Shades of Grey is followed by Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed.

Despite my distaste for Fifty Shades of Grey, I’m currently reading book #2. LOL

**Update-This review was written July 16, 2012.  The movie was released on Valentine’s Day 2015.

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