A Hot Mama

How To Date A Woman With Kids

ahotmama / Divorce/Moving On, Home Page, Motherhood Journey, Single Moms /

Feb 6, 2014

Whether you were planning on it or not, you’ve fallen for a woman who has kids…now what?  Dating a mom can be tricky.  It takes a special man to build a relationship with someone who has children.

Here are 6 tips on how to date a woman with kids:

1. Realize You Won’t Be First

You might not even be second or third fiddle to a mom…just know that her child’s schedule, meals, and needs will come before yours.  It’s natural to be selfish and want her attention on demand,  but would you want it any other way?  It says a lot about a person who is interested in a woman who values taking care of her kiddies.  Also know that regardless of how involved the father is, he is part of their lives.  You don’t have to be Bros with the dude, but be prepared to deal with another man in your woman’s life.

2. Be Patient

You have to plan ahead to develop a meaningful relationship with a mom.  It is imperative to be prepared to adapt to unexpected circumstances:  kids get sick, babysitters cancel, moms get tired and might night want to go out.  Be mindful that flexibility and patience are key.  On top of the daily woes we all face, moms have an additional load.  Being understanding and calm will make a big difference in her life as well as the ease of dating her.

3. Be Spontaneous

Not to contradict the above, but moms live a scheduled life and are rarely able to step outside of her daily routine.  A random phone call or text to see how her day is going is a great gesture to break up the monotony of her day.  If you know she has a free day or down time, whisking her away on a whim can earn you major bonus points.  When a woman’s high point comes from PTA meetings and car pools, a little unexpected fun and attention will definitely leave a positive lasting impression.

4. Don’t Waste Her Time

Being a good mom means you have to grow up quickly.  Moms might play Simon Says with Lil Johnny, but the last thing she wants to do is play games with a man.  If you’re looking to settle down with this woman have a plan and general time frame.  Moms are used to running a household and will appreciate your initiative and planning.  When you deal with a woman who has kids she isn’t looking to mother you, she wants to know she can be vulnerable with you and will be taken care of.  Showing you are a man who can step up and take charge will let her know you can be an asset and not just another mouth to feed.

5. Ask About Her Children

The only thing a woman likes talking about more than herself is her kids.  The bond between woman and child is the true definition of unconditional love.  If you’re trying to woo her, take a genuine interest in what is closest to her heart.  Remember milestones her children are facing or ask about a big event that might be coming up for her children.  If you’re looking to be in her life long term the children come with the deal.  Don’t rush meeting her kids.  Her mama bird instincts will know when the time is right but until then planting a seed of interest gives her an idea how you might fit into their family.

6. Love Her

A woman who has kids has obviously been through some type of emotional roller coaster with a man.  Although she may be a strong woman for her children there is a high chance she carries some sort of emotional pain/baggage.  The payoff is once she opens up and commits to you, you will reap the benefits of a grateful and loving woman.  A woman who can handle sleepless nights with a newborn, sick children, and juggling busy schedules will be a natural at nurturing and loving you.

Dating a mom isn’t for everyone.  There are definitely many issues to consider and it takes an extremely special person to love someone who has children, not to mention someone else’s kids.  However having a woman and her children in your life means you can also get more love out of the deal than you ever bargained for.  A woman who took a lot of love, patience, and planning to woo can turn out to be the easiest woman to keep and make happy.