Why I Will Never Have A Male OBGYN

z224754624Freshly showered…check

New underwear…check

Legs shaved….check

Cute pedi…check

Yes, I’m going on a date…to my OBGYN.

 

Let’s face it ladies, a trip to the OB warrants just as much if not more prep than seeing our Boo.  I even spritzed on perfume. (At $200 a bottle this is only reserved for the privy.)

All my life I’ve had a female OB.  I will NEHEVERRrrrr have a male OB.

Once my OB was out for a last minute baby delivery and they tried to get me to see a male “with a female nurse present”, I was like “Really I need a witness present?! Nah, I’m good. I’ll reschedule.”

It’s just weird to me.  I would never be comfortable.  I’m pretty sure I’d say something dumb while he was down there, like “Sooo are you a Lakers fan?”

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I know many lonely women are pleased with their male OB, but I don’t even like a male masseuse.  Here’s why a male OB just ain’t happening with me:

1. Professional code my ass– He’s still a man.  At some point or another I’m sure he has a few Patron shots with his buddies and the hoo-ha stories start flowing.

2. Awkward moments– I know I’d laugh on site the moment a male OB says “I’m gonna need you to take your clothes off”.  Or what if he’s doing my breast exam and a Babyface song comes on?!  Maybe I’m just immature but little things like that would definitely make me uncomfortable.

3. I’m a prude-  Yes, I parade around in a bikini regularly, but when it comes to seeing me naked there are only a select few males in that club.  Just bc he went to Med school doesn’t give him a free pass to my gateway to Heaven .Penises don’t have degrees.  At the end of the day he’s still a dude.

4. Women understand.  I just can’t bring myself to talk about already sensitive topics to someone who hasn’t or doesn’t have the ability to experience them.  Menstrual cycle, pushing out a baby, vaginal discharge, sore nipples…really Billy you wanna talk about this stuff?

5. Feeling like a hooker– I don’t want some dude to see me naked, feel me up, send me home alone then slap me with a bill for it.

gyn exam

I am sure male OBs get the job done and are awesome, it’s just not my preference.

My female gyno has been through 1 child delivery, 1 divorce, and countless pap smears with me.  When I go see her all we need are Tapas and a DJ and it’s like a GNO.  I feel like I can talk to her about anything.  There is never anything “routine” about my regular check ups. She just feels me.

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