25 Manners Kids Should Know By Age 9

Parents Magazine posted an article about 25 Manners Kids Should Know by Age 9 in their March 2011 issue.

I don’t know where to begin with this one.  I was somewhat appalled that an article was even written covering standard manners for children. What are we as parents focusing on if our kids can’t master saying please and thank you by age 9?! SMH

Some of these are weird, Some are common sense, and some of these suggested manners aren’t even mastered by 39 year olds. The 1st 4 manners need to be achieved by age 3 in my house.

Take a peek, I’ve added my 2 cents.

Manner #1

When asking for something, say “Please.”

Umm…my 2 year old can do this. If your child waits til 9 to do this, there are some issues going on.

Manner #2

When receiving something, say “Thank you.”

See above comment.

Manner #3

Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.

I give up to age 3.5 for this one. However, after watching Celebrity Apprentice the other night, there are many adults still working on this one.

Manner #4

If you do need to get somebody’s attention right away, the phrase “excuse me” is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation.

See above comment.

Manner #5

When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first. It can save you from many hours of grief later.

This is the ole curiosity killed the cat, but on the other hand, I don’t want some insecure kid bugging me every 2 seconds. Must find good balance with this one.

Manner #6

The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults.

I don’t totally agree with this one. WE don’t live in a perfect world and your child will not like every thing/body. Perhaps if they express it in a tactful way. I like to know my kids’ dislikes, unless of course they don’t like Mariah or Brett Favre. Then yes, keep it to yourself or get smacked son.

Manner #7

Do not comment on other people’s physical characteristics unless, of course, it’s to compliment them, which is always welcome.

This is difficult to teach to kids, but I agree. Mo used to love to point out someone’s big azz and Bronson is now obsessed with butt cracks. This one is a work in progress.

Manner #8

When people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are.

Ehh….this one isn’t a big deal to me. Sometimes when people ask me how I’m doing, I just wanna say “Phuck off…did that answer your question?”.

Manner #9

When you have spent time at your friend’s house, remember to thank his or her parents for having you over and for the good time you had.

Yes, I’m a big believer in this one. Someone taking another kid in is a big pain in the azz responsibility. I will make sure my kids are appreciative just so I know I can get them out of my hair again in the future.

Manner #10

Knock on closed doors — and wait to see if there’s a response — before entering.

Oh definitely!!!! And especially if you see “the sock” hanging on mommy’s door.

Manner #11

When you make a phone call, introduce yourself first and then ask if you can speak with the person you are calling.

This one is plain weird. Your kid is not a telemarketer. I think using please is suffice.

Manner #12

Be appreciative and say “thank you” for any gift you receive. In the age of e-mail, a handwritten thank-you note can have a powerful effect.

Yes, I endorse this fully! LOVE handwritten thank-you cards, but I’m not against an email, as long as I know the kid used his own words and it’s not something generic.

Manner #13

Never use foul language in front of adults. Grown-ups already know all those words, and they find them boring and unpleasant.

Hmm…I sort of like discovering new potty words. I don’t want foul language directed towards me, but I do still get a chuckle when I hear someone else’s kid let a “SHIT” or “AZZHOLE” slip out, especially when used in proper context.

Manner #14

Don’t call people mean names.

See above comment.

Manner #15

Do not make fun of anyone for any reason. Teasing shows others you are weak, and ganging up on someone else is cruel.

I agree 100%. No one likes a bully and I am not against going toe to toe with a grade schooler for picking on someone.

Manner #16

Even if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend that you are interested. The performers and presenters are doing their best.

This is why Apple created the iPad and apps!!!!

Manner #17

If you bump into somebody, immediately say “Excuse me.”

And puhleaze don’t go around stepping on people’s tennis shoes. At least if I take my boys back to my old neighborhood.

Manner #18

Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and don’t pick your nose in public.

Wow. If you can’t master this by 9 years old, I say manners #13, 14 can go out the window.

Manner #19

As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.


Manner #20

If you come across a parent, a teacher, or a neighbor working on something, ask if you can help. If they say “yes,” do so — you may learn something new.

Nah…mind your own business kid. Some people will take advantage of this one. 

Manner #21

When an adult asks you for a favor, do it without grumbling and with a smile.

Umm…depends on the favor. Perhaps run it by mom 1st. See above comment.

Manner #22

When someone helps you, say “thank you.” That person will likely want to help you again. This is especially true with teachers!


Manner #23

Use eating utensils properly. If you are unsure how to do so, ask your parents to teach you or watch what adults do.

Yes, if you’re eating at Villa Blanca or somewhere, but come on, I’m 37 and I still use a spoon with almost every meal. lol

Manner #24

Keep a napkin on your lap; use it to wipe your mouth when necessary.

Yes…good one.

Manner #25

Don’t reach for things at the table; ask to have them passed.


They also forgot a couple:

*when you fart, hurry up and leave the room before anyone can blame you

*Do not EH-VER go up to a woman and ask her if she’s preggers

*always tell your mom you love her no matter what!

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