Soccer Mama

I love soccer.

I love my kids.

I have a big mouth.

For these 3 reasons, I am an opposing soccer coach’s nightmare.

Maybe it’s just me, but when my boys do anything sports related, I get really annoying excited. I don’t mean like a gentle smile and pat on their back excited. I mean like, jumping up and down, re-living my days as a Most Sprited/Best All Around (won this award too many times to count) Cheerleader excited.

However, the lovely parents in our Los Angeles community can kiss my spirited azz do not share this same zest.

At the soccer games, I donn my spirt wear letting everyone know which child is mine.

Before, during, and after the game, I give Mo hand signals and verbal words of how to destroy the other team encouragement by running onto the field when the ref isn’t looking from the sideline.

After numerous complaints from some biatch azz parents, I now stand on the sideline opposite the other parents/coaches. Apparently some people do not appreciate the view of my backside and constant banter of “Go Back, Go Back, Go Back to the woods….” (in case you don’t know the rest of the song: your team ain’t got no spirit, and your coach is no good). Feel free to use that one at YOUR child’s next sporting event.

Anywho, enjoy Mo (#14) scoring his 2nd of 3rd goals (2 assists and 4 blocked shots on defense). I had just given him a sideline pep talk on how to always follow thru with the ball and score with no mercy whenever possible. Next week’s soccer lesson from mommy: How to slide tackle your opponent in a friendly, sportsmanlike manner.


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