I’m Stopping At 5

When I was young (naive and didn’t have kids), I said I wanted 4 kids, all boys.

Well, with that theory in mind, I couldn’t let the number of kids equal or outweigh my number of tattoos (I mean come on…who does that?!).

Soooooo….I got another one.

Tat not kid.

I know, I know. I said I was done. Tat not kid. (Well maybe kids, not tats….noooo, maybe I’ll have another one. Wait, this is getting confusing).

Yes, I just got a couple of tats not too long ago.

I think I might need a hobby. This is getting painful. Whoever said tats don’t hurt must have been drunk. Or high. Or really tough.


I took a 500 mg Tylenol before I went and it might as well been a Skittle. That thing didn’t do jack!!!!

I suggested to Howard (the best, funniest, and most patient tat guy with a needle) that perhaps his esteemed tattoo parlor should offer “numbing cream” to it’s more fragile cients. By the glare he shot me, you would have thought I suggested he don a tutu and Choos while tatting me. (BTW, I can’t say enough good things about Howard, if you’re ever in Los Angeles, HE IS THE MAN!)

So, here’s my suggestions to tattoo places across the world:


The Mariah is for relaxation. Her melodic zillion octave range always has that effect on me.

Oh well, enough of my whining…I made it out alive, but that one put a beating on me.

I’m pretty sure I’d have another kid before I get another tat! At least they give you an epidural.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...