Dear Mo and Bronson,
I know as you boys get older you will start to read mommy’s blog. So let’s just pretend we are in the future and approaching your 16th birthdays.
I’m guessing you’ll be into cars and hip hop. That’s cool. You might even watch the MTV hit, My Super Sweet Sixteen which showcases over the top birthday celebrations. That’s fine also.
But even if mommy is rich and jet setting from Cali to Capri on a regular basis (oooh…the law of attraction), let me tell you in advance how your 16th birthday WON’T be going down:
*You won’t be getting a $360,000 Maybach. You might get a Mazda (in which I’m gonna need you to help pay for half as well as your car insurance).
*You won’t have Fabolous, Jim Jones, or Lil Kim perform at your mega exclusive A-List birthday bash. You might have your high school gospel choir or Glee Club there to sing Happy Birthday. Or maybe one of my friends that had a record deal many years ago could possibly chime in a hook or 2.
*I will not hire a uniformed driver to accompany you home. I might dress up in a cute ensemble given that my boobs and butt are still decently in tact and drive you home to make sure you get there safely (and you better give me a goodnight kiss).
*I will not be handing you a check for $10,000 as a birthday gift. I might hand you the bill from the evening and offer to pay a portion of it.
Yes, Morris and Bronson, this might be the fabulous life of Sean “P. Diddy” Combs’s son, Justin’s life, but not yours.
You will be lucky if I let you stay out past midnight (given I have a GPS tracker on you somehow). And don’t even think about brining any little girls home.
Forget about it!!!!
Well, it’s probably getting late. Don’t forget to brush your teeth. And put that toilet seat down!
Oh, and Happy 16th Birthday boys.