The Hair Gods Are Good To the Boys

When I was little, I remember waking up with a major crick in my neck from trying to sleep with a head full of pink sponge rollersRemember those? Those pink sponges were so absorbent you could wash a minivan with just 2. And, boy did they hurt when you tried to take them out.  My hair always got stuck in the crevices, or maybe it was the Aqua Net I used to help “hold” the curls.

I grew up in the 80s when hair was all about BIG and CURLY. And if being IBTC President wasn’t enough for my self esteem, I had BONE STRAIGHT HAIR! Let’s not even talk about the braces and glasses. Good times.


So, I guess they’re right when they say everything skips a generation. Thank goodness the Hair Gods were on my kids’ side. But does it really count since they’re boys?  They could really care less.

I asked Morris if he wanted to get his hair cut off (he’s had 6 regular “trims” already) and all he cared about was whether or not he would get a lollipop. I told him he would be starting Kindergarten soon, and may want to get a shorter cut.

Morris: Sometimes kids call me a girl because I have long hair.

Me: How does that make you feel?

Morris: I don’t care. Yesterday at the park, this boy and his mom called me a girl. I told them I was a boy, and they laughed.

Me: That’s good you used your words.

Morris: Then I said if you call me a girl again I’ll punch you in the face.

Me: Hmm…What did his mom say?

Morris: She said, yeah, you’re definitely a boy.

So, Morris got the hair that every girl wants: long, thick, and curly with natural highlights of caramel and honey. Some boys have all the luck.

Bronson got the hair that all rock stars dream of, a natural mohawk. I guess Morris had the foresight of knowing this because he picked out his brother’s middle name, “Rocco the Rock Star.” Funny how things happen. I’m sure when Bronson is 45 years old and CEO or an ultra conservative insurance company he will appreciate his mohawk.

Luckily, I can rest easier at night knowing my boys won’t have hair issues. I’m also happy because the pink sponge rollers are a thing of the past. Straight is back in! Brazilian blowouts for all the girls.

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